Sometimes I yearn for heaven. I think about the day when every passion, every gift can be used fully to glorify God without the limitation of time. And it makes me think of the apostles. I imagine how it must have been for them. These were people the Messiah individually called to follow Him. He taught them, mentored them, poured into them. They were His closest friends. I can't even comprehend the privilege that must have been!
But then, I think about John having to watch Jesus die. By all accounts, he's the only apostle who was there when He died. It's no wonder John's books are so focused on love. He saw Love take His last breath. John's heart must have broken to watch his dear friend suffer.
And after years of teaching and instructing His disciples, Jesus left to return to His home. His closest friends watched Him leave, as He promised that another would come to be with them, a spirit that would guide them. As wonderful as that promise was, I wonder if it felt a little empty to them, if they thought "Heaven that came down is leaving us, how could anything ever take His place?" I wonder how many of them wanted to go with Him. I know I would have.
I find it interesting that, instead of ending with the ascension, John's account of the life of Jesus ends saying that Jesus did many more wonderful things not contained in his book, in fact there wouldn't be enough room in the world for the books containing every act of Jesus. John ends with the vision of Jesus working miracles, instead of leaving for heaven as the other gospels did. What a unique and purposeful choice.
Before He left, Jesus charged His disciples to go out and teach and preach, and so they went. They shared their firsthand accounts, but I bet most of them were anxious for the day to see their dear friend again. If I, having never met Jesus in the flesh, yearn for heaven, how much more must they have! I wonder if they ever really adjusted to life without their Messiah among them. Was life on earth ruined for them because they knew what awaited them in heaven? Was it weird for them to pray to someone who used to be with them or did it make their prayers that much deeper, more intimate?
Then I imagine what must have been a heartwarming reunion of dear friends. What a glorious day! And one day, I'll get that day. But instead of reuniting, I'll be meeting so many people of faith, amazing people I can only read about here. And I'll see my Saviour, my God. How can anything here ever compare to that? So I guess it's good that I yearn for that day. It's the reason for the hope I have here. No matter what may happen in life, I have this assurance: heaven awaits me.
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